The Ninja Turtles Stop the War on Iraq
by Red Tale
Summary: This is a very, very, VERY unique story from Red Turtles little brother, Blue Luigi


The Ninja Turtles stop the war on Iraq

By: Blue Luigi with help from his Daddy and Red Turtle

A/N: (This story was written before the start of the war in Iraq. I needed to update some of the sources for the quotes, and I wasn't sure if that would push the story up, so I decided to wait until the anniversery of the war to update it, so the story would be timely. For those who didn't read it the first time around, it's highly entertaining.

Although a very serious topic, this will be a very silly story. Blue Luigi is only nine years old, and this is his first real story. His Daddy suggested the idea, and Red Turtle helped him with working out facts, quotes and generally typing and punctuation. The numbers in parentesis () are to be read as footnotes, and will be cited at the end. I couldn't get real footnotes to translate in this site. Other than quotes, the words themselves are Blue Luigi's, and he has an interesting imagination.

Also, this story is a little abstract because I wasn't sure if we could actually use the real president, as it says somewhere in the rules about not using real people in fictional stories, so that obviously changed some of what we could say or do, and since Blue Luigi is only nine he has a very different sense of the war and is not going to know all the politics and history involved.

Now on with story:

First, this is a scene so everyone knows how evil Shredder is.

There were two Chinese kids walking down an alley. Shredder goes after them. Leo was there and he kicked Shredder. Shredder hit Donatello in the stomach. Michelangelo did a very silly trick; it was the three Stooge's things with the eye balls. It worked; he poked Shredder in both eyes. Shredder retreated, and the Chinese kids were saved.

Then Shredder went after some Mexican kids because he really hates them and the Chinese guys. (Blue Luigi could not explain why this was, but it is important for the story).

Raphael stopped him from hurting the Mexican kids. He used his dagger things (sais).

Shredder ran away with the Rhino guy and the Pig guy. The Rhino guy and the pig guy were very easy to defeat, as they are in the games for game boy. 'I must find a real plan to take over the world', he thought.

Next Scene: A few months later on the street:

Michelangelo was out driving the turtle van. He was driving very fast and recklessly because he wanted to get pizza. A cop tried to stop him by shooting the tires out, but Michelangelo drove right up on the wall and hit the cop with the front wheel, and then he drove away.

He drove down the street and almost ran over April, who just managed to dodge the van.

"Who the hell is driving like that?" April wondered, and ran after the van. She was looking for the turtles anyway.

Michelangelo saw it was her and slowed down. She caught up to it and opened the door.

"Michelangelo!" she cried, "Boy am I glad to see you"

"Why?"

"Shredder won the elections", she cried, "Didn't you see the news?"

"What? No way they would elect a psycho like that."

"Well, they did. Actually, it was declared by the supreme court, so maybe the other guy would have won but the Shredder is our president now."

"God that sucks", Mike said, forgetting all about pizza.

Next Scene: In the oval office:

"Ha! Ha! Ha!" Shredder cheered, "I am the president now and I get to do whatever evil thing I want to do! I am going to go hurt the Chinese people of Iraq!"

(Red Turtle: Repeated attempts to explain to Blue Luigi that the people of Iraq are Iraqi and not Chinese failed.)

"How you going to do that, boss?" asks the Rhino Guy.

"I will go on TV and say they are evil! I will brainwash them through the news." (This sentence was from Blue Luigi's Daddy).

Next Scene: The Turtles watch Shredder on TV:

"You are either with us or against us! Iraq, the Chinese and Mexicans are an Axis of Evil (1). France is bad because it won't be with us, and from now on we will eat Freedom Fries (2). Also, the Internment of the Japanese Americans was not a bad thing, we might do that again."(1)

"My sons, A Shredder victory over Iraq would have a profound impact on the future for billions of people, including on how the labor or working people is exploited, on where wealth of the planet flows, on who is served by the governments and armies of the world.", Splinter quietly explained, "This is not in the interests of the people. Shredder must be stopped." (3)

"I agree Master Splinter", Leo jumped in, swords drawn.

"Let's go", joined Michelangelo and Donatello.

"I'm too tired. I'm going to stay here", Raphael said.

So the other three guys got in the van to drive to fight shredder.

But Shredder went to their hide out (he learned from the secret service) and he attacked Splinter. He kicked Splinter really hard. So it was good that Raphael stayed behind.

"No one does that to my Splinter!" Rapheal yelled, and he kicked the Shredder.

He did a flying kick, and a roundhouse kick, and used his dagger things (sais) to defeat Shredder again.

Shredder went back to the white house. The other turtles were already there. They started fighting him.

Shredder got very mad.

"I am going to take this stuff and become Super Shredder and then I will just walk across the ocean and smash the Chinese people who live in Iraq!" (4)

(Red Turtle sighs as she again explains that Chinese people don't mainly live in Iraq.)

So Shredder drank the ooze and became super huge and started to walk over the ocean.

"Now there will be no safe place in Baghdad! HA HA HA!" (1)

The turtles kept fighting him still. But he started across the ocean, and they couldn't follow. Shredder found another formula and he grew giant fiery wings.

"My sons", Splinter yelled, running after them, "I have these for you!"

Splinter gave them each Yoshi Wings he had found in a mushroom. Donatello, Leonardo and Michael put them on and started to fly away. Raphael threw his up to Donatello.

"I'm too tired", he told him, and stayed behind with Splinter again.

(Red Turtle: I don't know why Raphael is so tired in this story)

"My sons", Splinter yelled as they started to fly away, "Now is a time for clarity. A time not to be thrown or loose sight of he glimmer of a different future, even as he brings down heavy destruction and try to break our fighting spirit. We will keep our heads up, because we can see a better world emerging from this struggle, because we know who really represents our future and who is just clawing madly to extend his brutal grip." (3)

"Yes, Master Splinter", Says Leo.

Anyway, now the turtles could fly after Shredder and fight him before he got to Iraq. Despite being so much smaller than Shredder, Leonardo somehow managed to cut both his arms off with his swords, but still Shredder wouldn't stop. Donatello slashes him across the stomach with Leonardo's sword, and when he did Shredder shrank. Then Donatello leaped up really high and kicked him in the face. In fact he kicked his face right off. The shredder's face was now gone.

"MMMMMMM!", Shredder yelled, with no mouth.

Then the Shredders fire wings fizzled out and he crashed into the sea.

"Shred went to bed" Michelangelo declared, "We killed the Shred dude!"

The Turtles flew back to the US.

"Yayyy. We saved the Chinese people", Leo yells.

(Red Turtle-sigh)

Next Scene: Turtles home:

The turtles went back home.

Splinter was very thirsty. Michael brought him a glass of water.

"Thank you, Michelangelo."

Donatello practiced some cool moves on his skateboard, as from the first ninja movie.

Leo was very hungry. There was no food in the lair.

Michelangelo became a real hero when he went to get more pizza.

"Oooh, yum!" Leo cried, and ate a lot of pizza.

Raphael went to sleep because he was tired.

"My sons, I am glad you saved the Chinese and Mexican people", Splinter told them.

The End

Wasn't that interesting? Remember in your reviews the kid's nine, and we warned you it would be silly.

- (1) quotes or paraphrases from Bush, Cheney, Romsfeld and/or US Rep Cobalt

- (2) There is a restaurant that decided to protest France's decision not to go to war by refusing to sell French Fries, instead they are Freedom Fries.

- (3) quotes from Bob Avakian (except with the original quote uses "the US" in place of "Shredder")

- ( 4)Blue Luigi is referring to the mutagen Shredder takes in the Second Movie, which obviously inspired him.


End file.
